The Role School Counselors Play in Bullying and Conflict Management

School counselors are critical in helping students and parents address bullying and conflicts with peers. Taking preventative measures and addressing issues as quickly and effectively as possible can minimize the emotional trauma and impact of bullying and disputes.

Identifying the exact type of bullying allows for faster resolution

Unfortunately, there are many different types of bullying that students may face today. It is important for school counselors to be skilled at adequately identifying the exact type of bullying a student is experiencing or using to create conflict with another student. In some cases, there may be multiple types of bullying involved, making the situation more complex and, often, more serious.

Bullying can take the forms listed below, but it is important to understand that a person can be bullied in multiple ways by the same person or group. Bullying someone physically and verbally is very common. Of course, this can be combined with cyberbullying or stalking behaviors too. It is important to document all types of bullying that a student is experiencing.

Physical

Pushing, non-sexual touching, punching, kicking, etc. are all forms of physical bullying. Not all physical bullying leaves visible evidence, but the appearance of bruises or other injuries are definite signs.

Verbal

Teasing, name-calling, graffiti, or malicious writing are examples of verbal bullying. While some name-calling and teasing are often seen as just something that happens sometimes at school, when it is consistent, it can lead to emotional trauma and psychological issues.

Relational

Looking over someone regarding activities and interactions is a good example of relational bullying.  Let’s say for a moment you are picking team members for a sport or project, and one or two people are always the last to be picked. This is a typical example of relational bullying. Spreading rumors that impact the reputation of another person is another all-too-common situation.

Cyberbullying

The most modern form of bullying is that which is done via the Internet on social media. Cyberbullying has quickly become one of the most common forms of bullying and emotional manipulation facing young people today. While many social media companies have created rules for interaction that prohibit cyberbullying, it cannot prevent it entirely, and the advent of instantly disappearing messages and images, along with screenshotting and the ability to create anonymous accounts and posts, mean that cyberbullying is sadly pervasive and difficult to uproot.

Sexual

Bullying of a sexual nature can take place in person or online. Sexual jokes, comments, pictures, rumors, letters, and texting may be considered sexual bullying. This is a very serious and humiliating form of bullying because of its potential for causing long-term consequences to reputation and relationships with others. Sexual bullying may be the precursor to a crime such as sexual assault or rape. It is very important to take sexual bullying seriously and stop it as soon as possible.

Prejudicial

Any bullying orchestrated due to a person’s gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, or ethnic group is considered prejudicial. It should be considered that just because a person fits into a minority group does not automatically mean that a bully is targeting them for just that reason. Prejudicial bullying can in some instances be considered a hate crime, and as such it is important to handle cases of this nature carefully and to address it as soon as possible.

Methods for addressing bullying and conflict resolution

School counselors have a lot of tools at their disposal to help prevent or eliminate bullying. Other conflicts are inevitable when there is a large group of young people, so it is important to have a clearly defined set of conflict resolution guidelines.

Encourage students to stand up for each other and take action in a non-violent manner

When the consequences for bullies come from their peers, it can help stop further negative behaviors. Often, bullies are looking for attention from their peers. They may think that bullying helps them achieve the reputation they want to have. When bullies do not get the reaction, they want or find themselves receiving negative feedback from their peers, it can be a big help to anyone on the receiving end of the bullying.

Reporting bullying to school counselors should always be encouraged because sometimes the person experiencing it is too afraid to stand up for themselves.

Educate parents and students, and develop effective anti-bullying policies

Awareness of the various types of bullying and the warning signs that a student may be a victim is important for parents, teachers, and loved ones. A lot of bullying is hidden or overlooked. Helping create guidelines and effective anti-bullying rules and policies is critical for any school counselor trying to ensure that students have a healthy learning environment and good social skills.

School counselors must always be available for students and parents

As a school counselor, your job is to be available to counsel students who are experiencing bullying and also those who are acting as bullies. It is important to remember that just because someone is a bully does not mean they are a bad person. School age children are going through a period of great change and trying to figure out the world around them. Bullies and those they are bullied both need attention and help to heal and grow as a person.

Finding out what is causing a bully to act the way they are can be a big help in finding a long-term solution to stop the problem and prevent them from moving on to bullying another person.

Involving parents is often needed. It is important that parents of both the bully and bullied students are aware of the situation so they can be part of the solution.

Counselors need to be aware of the most common conflicts at the schools they work at

Getting to know the student body at your school is important because it can help you gauge what the most common types of conflicts are at your school. This allows any counselor to concentrate their preventative and supportive efforts where they are needed the most.

There are times when counselors must work with law enforcement

Some bullying may require reporting and involving law enforcement. When bullying reaches the point where it is considered stalking or it leads to an actual physical or sexual assault, it must be reported to the authorities immediately. Schools should never try to handle these matters on their own. In fact, doing so can lead to civil or criminal charges and lawsuits.

Taking a strong stand against serious bullying and assaults is critical to preventing others from thinking that type of behavior is acceptable on any level. Students need to understand that there are serious consequences to reprehensible actions.

Help develop students’ emotional and social skills

When students are aware of their emotions and have the skills to know how to deal with them effectively, they are less likely to be bullies. In addition, students with good emotional health are more resilient if they find themselves being bullied. School counselors need to help students learn to empathize with others and consider their feelings and the unique situation they may be in at home or school.

Students who can empathize are more likely to be kind and considerate.

Understanding why you are feeling a certain way is a helpful life skill, no matter what situation a student experiences.

Make sure that all school administrators and teachers are familiar with the conflict resolution guidelines

It is important that conflicts are dealt with promptly before they become more serious or involve others. No matter the size of your school, it is important that all administrators, staff, and teachers know the process for resolving student conflicts. Providing a copy of the guidelines for reference helps avoid misunderstandings and mistakes.

School administrators should be open to suggestions of how to improve conflict resolution guidelines as well.

Encourage victims to document behaviors and incidents

Keeping a good record of what is occurring is important. Students being bullied online or sexually should be sure to keep detailed records. This can be very important if law enforcement has to get involved. Without proof of cyberbullying or sexual bullying, victims may not be able to get as much done to prevent future incidents. For example, in some states, you must provide a good reason and/or evidence that you are being harassed or feel threatened if you want to get a restraining order issued.

While saving pictures or messages that are sexual or negative may be embarrassing, it is important that students do this. School counselors must do their best to offer non-judgmental advice and support to a young person.

Sexual harassment and bullying online are far too common, and sometimes pictures and messages are impossible to entirely remove from online sources even with the help of social media companies. This can be very devastating, but it is important that victims understand this unfortunate truth. By documenting the harassment, however, they can prevent some future damage.

It is important for school counselors to emphasize that even if some information is not removable, the internet world quickly moves on. A counselor must make sure the student does not feel they are not a good or valuable human being.

School counselors help student retention rates and thus increase the odds of student success

When students feel safe and comfortable at school, they can focus on learning and growing into a happy and productive person. Retention rates can suffer at schools where students feel a lot of peer pressure or are likely to experience bullying.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many students dropped out and did not return, or their families chose to homeschool. While a lot of this is attributed to the pandemic, there was another important component that some recognized: parents of bullied students often saw a positive change in their child when they were allowed to complete their studies at home via virtual classes. If schools are having problems with retention rates, then it is a good idea if they take a look at the environment their students are in and assess it for issues such as bullying.

Is a career as a school counselor right for you?

Becoming a school counselor is an admirable career choice. If you are considering counseling or mental health service jobs and have some of the following qualities, then you should consider taking the next step on your journey to becoming a certified counselor.

You enjoy working with people from different backgrounds

School counselors often work with people from diverse ethnic, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds. School counselors must embrace diversity and know how to empathize with many different groups of people and social situations.

You are capable of looking at problems from many different perspectives to find solutions

School counselors need to be able to put themselves in the position of any student they are counseling. For some people, this is not a skill that comes easily, particularly when counseling someone making bad choices that are harmful to others.

In order to help students and their parents, school counselors must find common ground and look at positive as well as negative traits in each individual. This prevents a counselor from coming across as only seeing the not-so-great aspects of a student and helps ease both student and parent into a more trusting counselor-to-student and parent relationship.

An academic setting is where you thrive

Of course, you must love working in a school environment to be a counselor there. Schools run on a standard schedule that is helpful to those that want a career that allows them to be at home in the evenings and on weekends for the most part.

Counselors must also be comfortable speaking to groups and teaching. While you may not be teaching daily classes, there will be times when you need to deliver lectures at assemblies or to a group of parents. Representing your school at an event or conference may come up.

You are a very patient and calm person

Any parent will tell you that even the best-behaved and stable child can sometimes be frustrating. As a school counselor, you must be patient with students and parents. It can take some time to work through issues, especially if it is hard to get someone to talk about their emotions and life. Parents may sometimes get peeved, become emotional, or react protectively even if their child is the one that is bullying another.

It is essential to remain calm, never raise your voice to an unacceptable level, and avoid throwing back insults. There is absolutely no room for losing your cool when working with students.

You are skilled at resolving conflicts

Perhaps you have found yourself in the position of resolving conflicts a lot in your life. If that is the case and you managed it well, then you might make a great counselor. Conflict resolution in schools is necessary when creating a welcoming and comfortable learning environment. While this skill is natural to many, it’s also one that can be improved at the academic level. The online Master’s in School Counseling from St. Bonaventure University is an excellent way to hone your conflict resolution skills and earn the credentials you need to qualify as a school counselor.

Problem-solving and strategizing come naturally to you

Emotional problems can be very complex. There are some natural challenges to finding practical solutions that are easy for younger people to utilize daily. Student counselors are constantly working to help students find healthy answers to problems. This can involve developing a plan that can be accomplished in manageable steps.

Setting a series of attainable goals helps students stay focused on improvement. By setting a series of smaller goals rather than a few huge ones, students can more easily realize their progress. Setting too high a goal and failing to achieve it can be devastating to someone who is emotionally fragile.

You want a career that you can stick to throughout your working life

Student counselors enjoy excellent job security. If you try to be an excellent counselor and go the extra mile to help students and parents, then you can enjoy a lifelong career. Many counselors stay at the same school for decades after they find a good fit for them.

Conclusion

School counselors are one of the first lines of prevention when it comes to bullying at school. They provide support and counseling to all students so that effective solutions can be found as quickly as possible.

Becoming a school counselor is a rewarding and fulfilling career for anyone who enjoys working with people from different backgrounds. The demand for mental health professionals and counselors is high and will continue to be so for many years to come, so it is a great career for those looking for a long-term career.